Stressing For a Meaningful Relationship

It's the holiday season once again. Time for food, fun, family and romance! Today while I was out and about, I just couldn't help but notice all the couples running around, holding hands and cuddling as they tried to stay warm.

Observing young love, gentle and pure, helped me to remember something from the past....my list. I don't know where I got the idea from. But, I was about twenty at the time and I was just plain tired of dating the same guy over and over. His name would change but his mindset was always the same. I had a knack for dating guys that had never ventured far from home, they were mamma's boys and they seemed to hate dating educated women. 

I love stimulating conversation, traveling and visiting museums, aquariums and the zoo. Somehow, I dated guys that only wanted to go to the movies, an occasional football or basketball game and be seen in the mall or at the club with me on their arm. One day, I got tired. Was I continuously settling? Didn't I care about my own feelings?

At the time I didn't feel like I was settling but I would have a party after each relationship ended. I would pamper myself at the spa, go out with the girls and just spend a week doing whatever I wanted to do. But one day I created the list. The list became a living part of who I was.

After I created the list, I realized that with past relationships, I would become the woman that my boyfriend always wanted.  With each relationship, I would literally loose who I was and become someone that wasn't real. Someone that only existed as a fantasy.

So, by now you want to know what was "the list"? I'll tell you...

The list was a number of characteristics that I thought my future husband should possess. The reason why people date is so they can learn what they want in a potential mate, right? With that in mind, the top five characteristics were MUST Have's. The next five to ten characteristics were what I was attracted to visually and I included a few morals and beliefs.

I no longer have my list but this is what I remember:

1. Has to believe in God

2. Has to respect his mother

3. Has to treat women with respect

4. Must have a degree

5. Must believe that education is important

6. Has to be able to pick me up

7. Has to be able to make me laugh

8. He should like to travel

9. Can't be afraid to try new things

10. He must have a job

11. He must desire to work

12. Must have dreams, aspirations and realistic goals

13. No kids from a previous relationship

14. Not a smoker